Tonight I can write the saddest lines

tonight i can drink beer and read some Neruda.

feliz cumpleaños señor Pablo.

*Andy Garcia

...

you

pray 

for a never-ending 

harmony 

that exposed 

your

innocence 

and predilections

 for that

uncertain 

butter-soft 

fragility 

of the human 

spirit 

melting 

the essence 

of your 

sweet 

heart

and rebellious 

psyche 

into one 

coherent 

soul.

This Old Guitar

my old acoustic guitar, 

the sole witness 

during those rare 

times where i can 

wear 

my heart on 

my sleeve.

 

In Solitude...

I found a long-sought

soft self-comforting freedom

a heart-rousing understanding

governed not by the common reason

but by untamed emotions.

*

...early Sunday morning, driving on a deserted Southfield Freeway. the sun's rays are trying to break through the grey clouds' spell. Michigan in winter; beautiful and lonely.

BrainDamage

Salvador Dali- "Exploding Raphaelesque Head" 1951

Another day, another wasted day. Another rotten day has passed,  spent in this dark old  room, an abyss where not a sliver of light, have penetrated its four corners for ages -- the dominion of the damned, where sanity is slowly eroding inside the battered head.

In the Brain; where the never-ending labyrinth of gelatinous gyri and sulci, continues to boggle and rattle, the spirit of the demented mind.

Pitter patter-raindrops spatter-eat the matter-in the platter-
helpless tapper-leader-follower-naked in the shower-
nobody answers...

this never-ending childish prattle-

taxes the mind,  burns the soul,
castrates the emotions
and rips off the heart

Of everything.

In isolation, inside this padded room, the only place for lunatics- lost in space, locked in total darkness- a prisoner condemned into oblivion.

This smokey room; Where the stale air flew in circles, where the mind somersaults like the high-flyer in a circus. This smelly room; where the stench of urine is stronger than the odor of filth, where the nose forgets its sorry existence. This room where darkness rules is the only one that I have ever known.

"The Sandman lurks in the dark. Take this pill and you'll be all right," says the woman in white. The lady with the perpetual  smirk, the purveyor of dreams and what have you. 

Eni meni mini mo, take the pill and off we go!

Blue pill or red pill it does not really matter. The brain is bursting and the neurons exploding- Time stood still, warping my sense of being.

I am a traveler.  I am a gatherer. I am a pilgrim

I am home.

DotMatrix

I. look. inside.
You.
nothing. but. emptiness.

deafening. silence. in.
the vast. expanse.
of. a. barren. universe.

the speck. the dust. the sky.

a. dot. in. space.
a. moment. in. time.
a. sea. of. darkness.
a.  land. of. the. dead.

a. black. hole.

I. contemplate.
my. contempt.
of. everything. beautiful.




I. seek. to. destroy.
all.
the prettiest.
things.
your mind. can. think.
your eyes. can. see.
your hand. can. touch.
your heart. can. feel.

I. am. you.
you. are. me.
a. mirror. image.
a. friend. a. lover.
a. dream. a. nightmare.

inside. my. head.